Lost soul

Is it just her absence or is it just my inherent fear that is driving me nuts these days. The term is dragging with loads of free time but I have no clue how to utilise my free time. I remember the good old days when a boy calling himself demi-God denied himself from enjoying every moment with a beautiful angel thinking at every moment about the possible consequences of turning into a normal human being. Now, with the fear of confessing to his parents looming large on his head he desires the presence of that angel not because he lacks the courage to confess but because he seeks constant affection from angel during these trying times.
Life is going to take a dramatic turn in a few months. I am not worried , however, I seek refuge from any upcoming damnation. I have faced a lot of heartbreaks , lots of anxiety throughout my childhood and thus, I am not ready to face any more heartbreaks. No, this does not deter me from taking my stance rather this only encourages me to fight with valor. And I know I will. Afterall, when solace is not a foregone conclusion then valor is the way out of trauma.

Love,
Me_who_else